For our college reunion, my alma mater sent out a survey to members of the class, asking about various aspects of their lives, work, health and habits. One question was the following:  

I need more (pick one only):

• love

• money

• recognition

• sleep

• responsibility

• sex

• time

• will power

A good friend who is living the dream (or his dream, anyway) pointed out that all he really wanted more of was will power. Ah, the ever elusive sense of will power and self control... if only there were a way to summon up more mental discipline. 

Research has shown that self-control is twice as important as IQ in predicting high-school performance and grades. Kids who can rein in and control their impulses tend to do well both in school and in life.  

Studies have also repeatedly established that will power is a limited resource or energy, and that the conscious mind lacks the awareness to control all our unconscious decision making processes. Self control is less about having an iron will, and more about setting ourselves up for success with appropriate triggers, and techniques to distract. People with superior will power develop habits that point them towards success.  And, as much as putting good daily habits into place, success is also about avoiding bad ones. Will power is really about tricking the unconscious mind into making the right decisions.  

When we think about self-control, we think of people who have it, and people who don’t.  The reality is that all of us experience fluctuations in our self-control.  Our rational brains don’t tun out to be that  important in exercising self-control in the moment. Giving people all the reasons not to eat French fries doesn’t help when the person finds themselves hungry and in front of their favorite burger joint. Information is relatively ineffective at changing behavior.  

What does tend to work is using a moment of high self-control to create some rules and structure. This means putting tasks and behavior first, and limiting thinking and analysis. An example of this would be to cut up fresh vegetables in advance and put them at eye level in the fridge, so that when you find yourself hungry and staring into the fridge for inspiration...Volià!

Aristotle said: “We acquire virtues by first having put them into action... we become just by the practice of just actions, self-controlling by exercising self-control, and courageous by performing acts of courage.” It turns out if we want to be good, one of the best approaches is to act good.

So how do we put good virtues/habits into action:

• Remember that it’s easier to change your environment than yourself. Marketers know this and trick us into buying items we don’t want (changing our minds) with strategic product placement (changing our environment). We respond to triggers in our environment. Create an environment that leads you down a path of success. The less you have to think and the more you have to just show up, the more easily success will come. If setting out the running clothes the night before (or sleeping in them) makes you more likely to get the morning run done, than do it.  

• Keep in mind that plans often go awry, so don’t just set goals; make contingency plans.  

• Success arises from lots of little good influences. The devil (or God) is in the detail. Whatever you do, try to do it thoroughly, and with attention. It’s easy to start thinking about what’s next, or what's already been. Try to stay absorbed with the present and proper execution.  

• Find support: it’s hard to build self-control alone. Find a community and surround yourself with people who practice the way you aspire to practice. Find role models, as well as peers.  Study the people you admire, and notice what they do. 

• Perception is more powerful than reason. Use the power of small repetitive actions to rewire your brain and change the perception of your situation, and from there you will have the power to make different choices.